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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

LET'S MOVE ON

My neighbor is a kind and compassionate senior. He used to travel regularly to Agua Prieta, just south of the border, to help build small block houses with concrete floors and roughed-in plumbing for impoverished families who needed warm shelter. He rescued a Chihuahua from a puppy mill. Just the other day, I asked him his opinion of a ballot measure which would allow terminally ill persons access to unproven meds and appliances. I counted on him to give me a considered answer.

One of my brother-in-laws is probably the best father I have ever known. He is generous with his time, has coached basketball and volleyball teams for his kids and has done his fair share of staying at home with his sick kids so my sister could go to work.

Another brother-in-law is a thoughtful and generous partner to my sister who suffers from arthritis. He makes sure things are done so my sister doesn’t have to. He married her many years ago, becoming more of a father to her two boys than their ‘real’ father. The boys, men now, look to him for the model of who they want to be. He was unbelievably loving to my mother as she suffered her last years with a horrible form of dementia that finally claimed her life. That last year, when Mother was barely able to move by herself, he nightly lifted her wasting body out of her wheelchair and tucked her in for the night. It was ‘their’ ritual.

I used to work with an organization dedicated to relieving the suffering from malnutrition, TB and malaria in Africa. I knew I could count on one of my US Representatives here in Arizona to introduce and follow through on appropriations to fund health and food measures for Africa. I knew he was aware of his privilege and deeply cared about those who had less than he had. I voted for him term after term.

One of my best friends grew up in the military. She was born abroad and spent most of her young life in or around military bases. She’s the type that shares food with the homeless, sitting right down beside them to hear their stories while they eat together. She stresses about the removal of music from schools. She compassionately assists her real estate clients as they make the very difficult decisions to leave their homes and move into assisted living. Once, we had a serious disagreement about a US military action and nearly ‘broke up’ before we realized our friendship was way more important than our disparate personal views on what patriotism is.

When I grew up, my parents always voted for Howard, our neighbor, as our state house representative. They knew him to be caring, and thoughtful, and true to his sense of morality. Howard simply couldn’t be bought by special interests. When I was in college, Howard invited me to intern with his office, giving me some juicy assignments that really opened up my eyes to the world. Once he sent me to the local prison to research and write up my thoughts about the prison system.

All these people are Republicans. I am a Democrat – born and bred. But I have never believed, nor has there been evidence in my life that would cause me to believe, that Republicans are ‘the enemy’. I have admired the grit and the honesty of my Republican friends and family members. I have relied on them for their take on the economy, health care, education. Obviously, we often disagreed but I felt better talking to them just to get the alternative point of view. I hope they felt the same.

There is a lot of news out there this morning that might prompt my friends on the left to think of the Republicans as ‘the other’. I’m even guilty of hoping they fail in order to prove the Democrats right that they are the party of ‘no’. But that ‘little voice’ in my head reminded that my Republican friends and family, who I absolutely trust in my heart are good, kind and generous people, simply have a different perspective on what’s best for America.

On this new day, instead of hoping they fail, I choose to hope they can use their considerable intelligence and insight to come up with alternatives to Democratic policies that have provided results, but not results that have come quickly enough. A friend called me early this morning to ask me why I thought so many people voted Republican in this election. My words were “People are tired, very tired, of being poor. They are tired of not having enough money to buy their children decent clothes; they are tired of worrying about paying the mortgage or the rent. They are looking for change.”

I, too, want change. I want better education, health care for all, higher paying jobs, an economy that does more than struggle along. I want my gay friends to have the right to marry and I want to make my own decisions about what to do with my body. I have always felt these things are best handled by the Democrats but I’m willing to give Republicans the field and not obstruct their good ideas. Ultimately this is a democracy, thank God (or Allah or Yahweh or Great Spirit or…..), and that means we are all in this together. All of us. The rich and the poor, the well and the unwell, the 1% and the 99%, for better or worse. Let’s get on with this.

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