GETTING LOST IN WONDERLAND

Sometimes I feel a little like Alice. Actually sometimes I feel a LOT like Alice. To get anywhere in Yellowstone means driving a long time even though the distance is not at all long. But all along the way magical beasts and mysterious scenery disrupt your journey. And the typical road hazards move from place to place.

A friend from home visited the last few days. She talked about how hard it was to remember exactly where the Artist’s Paintpots are (was that north or south of Norris Geyser Basin?) or whether the road to West Yellowstone was closer to Old Faithful or to Mammoth. I can relate. I’ve been here nearly three months and I still carry around my National Geographic map of the Park. Even when I’m on foot, I find my mind wandering from the task of finding the next trail junction.

Last weekend I hiked up Bunsen Peak and the week before that Mount Washburn. Both are ‘moderate’ hikes but not because of length or faintness of the trail. Mount Washburn Trail actually follows an old service road most of which has crumbled to reveal the dirt track underneath the old asphalt.  Bunsen Peak Trail is a wide, well-traveled trail that winds through inviting stands of forest before climbing above tree line. They both have alternate routes down that you might miss if all you are doing at the top is ‘lollygagging’ to use a Mom word.

Even seasoned hikers might find themselves huffing and puffing to the top of the peaks in Yellowstone. It’s not unlikely you will be hiking over 10,000 feet. The central difficulty of Bunsen and Mount Washburn is elevation gain – a little over 1300 feet in 2.1 miles for Bensen and about the same in 3.6 miles for Washburn - all while being exposed to one more incredibly gorgeous viewpoint after another. Already out of breath from the elevation gain, you find yourself gasping for breath at the scenery. Then you make the fatal step of stopping for breath at some breathtaking viewpoint, your eyes drawn to the purple mountains to the south instead of the landmarks along the trails. And it’s easy to miss the trail markers for the alternate way down when you are gazing way beyond them.

Back in Tucson, where I have lived for a long time, I find my way around town by the landmarks that become imbedded in my driving brain.  My favorite cool spot for dining outside is behind and a little to the east of the Art Museum Downtown. The entrance to my doctor’s parking lot is just one median break up from the big corner shopping center. I can get to my familiar places without even switching on my directional brain. Everywhere I go there are always memorable landmarks – the roses painted on the florist’s west wall, the Taco Bell across from the puke green sign announcing my body shop. Whether by foot or car, in the city, it’s easy to get somewhere without even thinking about your destination or remembering an address. Your landmarks lead you right there.

Now imagine yourself in a beautiful place where your eyes are constantly drawn to the next beautiful place. Or where you are distracted by the smoke from and the smell of geysers, missing the small road sign directing you to the spot you are seeking. Or your eye catches animal movement in the forest and you stop for awhile – long enough to forget whether you are north or south of that road sign. Or, if you have pulled off the road in one of the countless pull-offs, even which direction you were going. It’s really hard to remember landmarks when your first thought is NOT “one block past the church” but more like “a couple switchbacks up the mountain where you get that great view of Blacktail Deer Plateau” or “that valley the bears like to hang out in.” Your landmarks become marked by your adventures. And those adventures can change according to the whim of the wildlife and Mother Nature.

I’ve given up trying to use my usual excellent directional skills in Yellowstone. I’ve learned not to believe Mapquest’s time estimates because people just love to stop and watch the bison – or the bear – or the elk – or the eagles. It may only be 6 miles from Mammoth to Gardiner but it could take as long as 40 minutes or even more if the roads are washed out because of the runoff or if the mountain goats are entertaining the crowds from their perch above the road. I’ve given up trying to describe how to get somewhere and how long it will take except to say “well you start by going that direction”. After those simple instructions, anything can happen. At least it is happening in one of the most interesting and beautiful places on Earth.

When you come to Yellowstone – and you SHOULD come to Yellowstone – don’t skimp on your map. Get a good one like the National Geographic Trails Illustrated either for the whole Park or for the different Park areas. You can use Mapquest if you want to know how many miles it is from Madison Junction to Old Faithful but don’t divide the miles by the miles per hour. You’ll be constantly frustrated. Set your watch on rural time or better yet don’t set it at all.. Kick back and expect the unexpected. Hope for the astonishing; it can happen. And DO concentrate on the scenery instead of the landmarks. Here, the landmarks can change. What doesn’t change is the constant variety of magical moments you can experience if you just relax and enjoy the view.